Posted by
The INFORMER (Cokie907@yahoo.com) on Thursday, July 02, 2009 12:25:10 AM
Regular readers will be familiar with my "Cops Gone Wild" series here at the Meat and Potatoes Blog. In it, I discuss incidents across the country where cops go overboard for whatever reason and make idiots out of themselves while harrassing or even harming law abiding citizens who pay their salaries. Well tonight I got to play the starring role in just such an incident and boy was it fun!
I've lived in Knoxville 6 years and not once have I been pulled over but tonight my streak ended in an unusual way. I got pulled over all right, while I was on my bicycle and I wasn't even moving! Boy, tonight was one for the history books. Here's the story my fellow Grassroots Troopers if you'll indulge me, I think it's a pretty darn good one.
Someone jumped off the Gay Street bridge tonight and you should have seen the cop cars downtown, they were thicker than bugs on a bumper. As the cops stood around working really hard to earn their paychecks, I rode up on my bike and checked out the scene, I even talked to a couple about what was going on. Then I rode towards the east side of the city and saw another cadre of police cars with lights flashing madly on the James White Parkway. I thought to myself, "Are they shutting down the highway because of the guy jumping off the bridge? Maybe there is something much bigger going on down there." Desiring a better view of the cops, I decided to slowly coast along the side of the parkway about 200 feet down the on-ramp until I saw a cop backing up like a madman towards me. By the time he got to me, I had come to a complete stop since I now had a clear view of the 4 police cruisers and a fire truck which had just pulled up. This is where it starts to get interesting and my life took a turn for the complicated.
He rolls down his window as I'm standing there and says to me, "You're not supposed to be riding your bike along the side of the highway." I politely informed the friendly and helpful officer, "I'm not riding my bike, I'm just sitting here." At that point he jumps out of the cruiser like he's starring in an episode of "Cops" and my odyssey begins. He directs me to come across the highway on-ramp, place my bike to the side and place my hands on the rear quarterpanel of the police cruiser. At this point, I was understandably in disbelief as to what his problem was and decided to ask him 2 questions to which he gave somewhat funny answers:
1) "Why are you frisking me?" He answered, "To see if you're carrying any weapons". What a knee slapper! Thanks "Officer Obvious", I already know that's why cops frisk people. Duh! I always carry my 9mm when I ride my bike around town don't you? And even if I had some weapons, would I be stupid enough to keep them on me as I traveled toward police officers? Of course not, I would have stashed them in the bushes to be reclaimed later.
2) "Why are you harrassing me?" He answered, "I don't think I'm harrassing you." Let me fill you in there Officer John Kiely, badge number 1702 on the Knoxville Police Department. When a law abiding citizen who's out minding his own business is suddenly being forced to place his hands on a police car and spread his legs apart, that's harrassment. Let me try it on you buddy and see how you like it!
After we were done getting better acquainted with one another, he asks me to turn around and "sit on the car". I took his lack of communication skills literally and asked him (not to be obtuse mind you) "Do you really want me to sit on the trunk of the cruiser?" He got a little miffed and told me to just lean up against it, in his view that was the same as sitting. Actually wrong again sir, sitting would require an individual to put the majority of their weight on their buttocks, I thought this would be obvious. :-)
The harrassment continued with the game "20 questions" where my privacy was violated with all this information so he could run me through his handy-dandy laptop computer and see if there was something to "bust" me for or even be able to legitimately arrest me and really top off his night! After all, it had to be a slow night to begin with. Let's go for the gusto and see if we can turn it into somthing truly memorable, right officer? I was directed over to my bike and I sat there on the railing of the on-ramp for what seemed like forever while another officer comes over to join him. No doubt, he was serving as a witness in the event I said anything of a noteworthy nature as we prepared to bid our fond farewell for the night.
At long last, he finished his scribbling and walked over to let me know that he was cutting me a break. I know, how predictable right? My experience has been that when a cop is cutting you a break, it's because either he has writer's cramp or the charge would be just too much aggravation to deal with in court for a lack of evidence or some other reason. Remember the original reason he came up to me and the whole episode started? He was going to give me a warning for the "riding" on the side of the highway (which I wasn't doing by the way) but he was citing me for a lack of a helmet and no lighting on the bike. Can you believe this? Keep in mind that I had just ridden by dozens of cops on the Gay Street bridge and not a single one of them motioned me over to tell me I needed a helmet or a light on the bike. My suspicion is this was a case of selective enforcement for "Officer Obvious" as he was having a bad night and I tripped his frustration trigger with my snappy retort in the beginning. Oh well....
So I go to court in August, not as a juror mind you (thank God) but as a defendant. It's been a long time since I've been a defendant in anything folks and I'm sort of looking forward to it. This will give me something to do with my day! In the meantime, I'll be busy dealing with a local attorney and I might even contact that organization I love to hate, the ACLU. You see, nobody harrasses this freedom loving patriotic American and gets away with it. Officer John Kiely is going to get sued for harrassment.... not for money but for an apology. An example must be made out of this sorry character so that he may be taught a lesson and other officers behave themselves too. Lord Acton once said "Absolute power corrupts absolutely" and when cops go wild we must hold them more accountable than anyone else.
The preservation of our liberty depends on it!